My Birthday!

Tomorrow is my birthday, and I have never felt better about myself, my life, and my walk with Jesus! I subscribed to a daily devotional, devotions@proverbs31.org and decided from that day forward I was not complete! God has a plan for me and I did not know what it was. I had not obtained the satisfaction that I wanted in my life, because I felt like I was not a "Godly Woman". I want to be the woman God wants me to be and I realized the only way I will become that woman is through studying the Bible, reading devotions daily, and .........I started putting my thoughts, verses I could relate to and prayers in a journal. I did not realize how much I would enjoy doing this!


I look in the mirror and yes, I see an older woman, my body is not as strong as it once was, and those wrinkles on my neck are here to stay, I can't do the yard work and housework all in one day, holidays (even though I love them) are so tiring, but I also realize that there is a confidence that comes with age. I have wisdom from my personal experiences, joy in watching the growth - physical and spiritual - of those around me, a wonderful husband that is more precious to me at this time in my life than I think would have ever been if we had married when we were younger. My daughters, Perry's children, our grandchildren......my career is a challenge and never boring. The list can go on and on! My priorities are different. Different for the better! I feel bolder and more empowered to stand up and speak up. I have come to realize that even though I have nothing to offer unless I have Jesus in my life. I've become an older woman who knows a little bit about a lot of things, and now I want to know a lot more about cultivating a walk with God.

I'm not sure what God have in store for me......I try to "be still and listen", but with my "A" type personality I find this difficult to do. I know that in my heart whatever it is, it will be good, even though I may not see it now.


There are hard times, too. Change is hard. Financial struggles are hard. I am at a time in my life where I am and will be experiencing more loss. Friends and family I'll possibly lose to disease and death, friends and family struggling with faith and suffering broken marriages.....there is the sadness and the realization of the cruelty of living in a fallen world. This is earth shattering to me, I want the world to be "a bowl of cherries"! I pray that God will make me the woman that is capable of dealing with all these changes as I age.

So tonight I ask God to change me. Make my heart sensitive and teachable. I want to become a wise and treasured old woman, not one that everyone wants to avoid. I want to live in God's glory and give glory to God until my last day on this earth.

As I read this week in one of my devotionals, which I thought was so appropriate, .....Lord, help me to keep laughing about all the changes in my body as I age, but help me to take the change within my heart and soul seriously. I truly want to grow older and godlier instead of old and grouchier! Thank you God for the hard things that come with age. They are the things that make heaven become more appealing and more like home. Amen